The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

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Fetch time	Article Heading
6:55pm, 9th May 2008:	Elisha Cuthbert's last day in a bikini (Promised myself I wouldn't cry...)
3:30pm, 9th May 2008:	Mischa Barton claims cellulite photos were 'doctored'
4:40pm, 9th May 2008:	Nick Hogan gets 8 months in jail
1:45pm, 9th May 2008:	Lindsay Lohan is a shitty cat burglar
12:50pm, 9th May 2008:	Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus in Playboy - when she's legal
12:00pm, 9th May 2008:	George Clooney once propositioned by Roseanne, it, uh, didn't work
11:00am, 9th May 2008:	Nick Cannon, I hate you
6:35pm, 8th May 2008:	Elisha Cuthbert is like heaven in a bikini - with boobs, and did I mention a bikini?
5:20pm, 8th May 2008:	Jessica Alba wants you to stare at her as long as you can
3:20pm, 8th May 2008:	Amy Winehouse makes bail, free to terrorize the populace
4:05pm, 8th May 2008:	Vanilla Ice's wife 911 call will make you stop, collaborate and listen. Then feel kind of awkward.
1:25pm, 8th May 2008:	Britney Spears' second cameo sticks it to Doogie Howser, but not the way he'd prefer
12:40pm, 8th May 2008:	John Mayer made something I like... *head explodes*
11:55am, 8th May 2008:	Michael Lohan: Hey, I wanna be in the news too! Ooh ooh! Me me me!
12:00pm, 8th May 2008:	Minnie Driver hints at the father of her baby
9:50am, 8th May 2008:	Dina Lohan is the kiss of death (Back me up, Lindsay)
9:00pm, 7th May 2008:	Jennifer Aniston in a bikini canoodling with John Mayer - Why did I just use that word?
4:00pm, 7th May 2008:	Elisabeth Hasselbeck should wrestle Ann Coulter in a vat of pudding - unless she hates America
2:35pm, 7th May 2008:	Amy Winehouse arrested again, world record in sight
1:20pm, 7th May 2008:	Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz to wed next week (I'll bring the shotgun!)