The Onion
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| Fetch time | Article Heading |
| 10:00am, 6th July 2009: | Movie Not Nearly As Awful As Hoped
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| 9:02am, 6th July 2009: | Nation About Due For Big Cult Suicide
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| 9:30am, 6th July 2009: | Karl Malden Dead
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| 1:35am, 6th July 2009: | Heroic Pickles Holding Lid Shut From Inside
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| 10:02pm, 5th July 2009: | Can't Go Wrong With A Cheeseburger, Area Man Reports
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| 8:00pm, 5th July 2009: | [audio] Pacifist Rooster Is Torn Apart In Cockfight
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| 5:40pm, 5th July 2009: | What The Hell Did We Drink Last Night
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| 4:06pm, 5th July 2009: | Report: Meat Now America's No. 2 Condiment
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| 4:15pm, 5th July 2009: | The Fast-Food Lawsuit
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| 4:26pm, 5th July 2009: | Enchilada Premonition Comes To Pass
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| 3:03pm, 5th July 2009: | George Foreman Grill Retires To Promote Own Grill
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| 12:55pm, 5th July 2009: | Nation Fills Up On Bread
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| 1:05pm, 5th July 2009: | Scientists Discover Gene Responsible For Eating Whole Goddamn Bag Of Chips
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| 1:16pm, 5th July 2009: | Naughty Baker's Diminished Sex Drive Starting To Affect His Work
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| 11:30am, 5th July 2009: | Opinion: Snyder's Of Hanover Has Always Been In Pretzels For The Long Haul
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| 10:28am, 5th July 2009: | New Custard Could Cause Worldwide Flandemic
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| 9:00am, 5th July 2009: | Area Man Holding Out Until Next Exit For Better Fast Food Options
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| 9:30am, 5th July 2009: | Diet Could Affect Gender
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| 1:28am, 5th July 2009: | Area Man Already Knows Which Chicken Tender Hes Saving For Last
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| 8:00pm, 4th July 2009: | [audio] Eskimo Chef Works Magic With Blubber, Moss
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LiveJournal.com makes no claim to the content supplied through this journal account. Articles are retrieved via a public feed supplied by the site for this purpose.