In the last week, McCain has joyfully indicated that he plans to “whip” Obama in the debate and his team has started using the theme from Rocky at campaign stops (you know, Rocky, the white dude with a fondness for turtles who fought the flashy black champion).

Some have pointed out that, at least in the first movie, Rocky lost. I think it is more telling (especially in light of McCain’s Veep pick) that Rocky – much as we all loved the lug – was an absolute fucking idiot.

But now he is. I mean look at the polls. My guy is winning, by a lot.

And all it took was the collapse of the economy, a banking catastrophe, a stock market crash, a failed and expensive war, a dramatic drop in the world’s esteem for America, a sitting president with the lowest approval ratings ever measured (each time he spoke last week, the market plunged immediately), an over-stretched military, a housing crisis, a jump in joblessness, an overall sense that we are going in the wrong direction, an incredible low level of confidence in the notion that anyone in any position of leadership knows how to get us out of this or any mess, all combined with an opposing candidate who has been erratic, off-message, sluggish, poorly organized, unimpressive, unclear, angry, weird, old, badly handled, endlessly irritating to his own party, and who picked a lying, scandal-laden, and remarkably (hilariously if this were fiction) idiotic sidekick (I am a vegetarian animal-loving pacifist and frankly, the moose-killing is by far my favorite of her qualities). Just mix that with stadiums filled with idol-worshipping fans and the most money ever raised by anyone doing anything other than bailing out the world’s banks (in the next three weeks, my guy will be on the tube more than Regis) and you’ve got yourself a recipe for success.

If we had only known, a long time ago, that’s all it took to get one of these damn things won.

(Even with all this, it ain’t over yet. Scary, eh?)

At a recent town hall event, John McCain got a very big taste of the fruits of his negative and often shameful campaign.

After many angry and offensive questions, one finally got to the candidate. A woman took the microphone and said:

“I’m scared of Barack Obama… he’s an Arab terrorist…”

“No, no ma’am,” McCain interrupted. “He’s a decent family man with whom I happen to have some disagreements.”

Senator, please tell the same to your campaign team, speech writers and inner demons.

It’s definitely worth your time to check it out.

That was the last month. This month, the scenario is less obvious.

Will the McCain camp’s desperate, soul-selling, racist and nationally depressing personal attacks results in the polls tightening back up (following a historical trend)? Or have people had enough? Will independent voters say enough is enough and reject personal attacks in an age of increasingly ineffective government when the times call for the opposite?

I’m hoping. I’m not, however, betting.

The market collapsed Monday morning as the world economies expressed their level of faith in the American government to handle this crisis. Not too many folks are going to want to read some hogwash about William Ayers or Rezco or any of the character assassination in this environment.

When a GOP presidential campaign team can’t even execute their personal attacks effectively, you know they really suck.

Lot of record sales at stake here. He’s putting his money where his mouth is. He’s The Boss for a reason. Like my wife says, “Let’s hope Obama is worthy of that speech.” Rock on.

Before it’s over, McCain will have become even dirtier, sleazier and more pathetic than those he used to condemn and hate for such behavior.

There is something nauseating about elitists’ claiming to know how real people feel, rather than simply saying what they both know: this joke of a candidate is utterly unqualified to be secretary of the interior, let alone president of the United States. They … know that. But they can’t say it. Why?

If you’re not cynical in this environment and during this moment in history, I want access to your medicine cabinet.

But then I thought, on the other hand, the hell with it, I am going to ignore all that and focus on myself. And, truth be told, I can’t fucking wait for the debate tomorrow night and my key goal is to have fun watching Palin hopefully destroy her and her running mate’s careers forever. Whatever it might mean for America, my near term goal is to have fun watching the debate. Screw world affairs. In the end, in my gut (even though I am stealing the line from a friend), I believe that great television pretty much trumps everything.

For what it’s worth, my shrink called this a major breakthrough.

Then just let her go.

Here is a recent, in-depth VF article on Paul Newman.

I can’t wait. It’s bigger than the Superbowl to me and I am a major NFL fan.

But I don’t matter. I know who I am voting for. So does anyone with even a passing interest in these candidates, politics, America, or anything that happens to be on the news, ever.

None of us matter. We will watch the debate. Score at home. Watch the blowhards blow. Chug a few brews. Go home. Get fired up for Thursday night.

Let’s say there are a thousand of us. OK, for argument’s sake, let’s say a hundred million. And we’re all glued to the TV tonight.

What percentage of that 100 million are undecided? What disinterested, undecided person in their right mind would blow a Friday night watching this boring crap?

So does it matter? I know debates are supposedly the biggest thing in elections. Maybe it’s true. But somehow I feel like all the hype is nothing more than political masturbation.

Then again, I love masturbation. So I’ve got to run. Enjoy the show.